Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Unbroken

1. Acute pain - occurs immediately after the fracture when the bone has broken.
2. Sub-acute pain - occurs the first few weeks after the fracture while the bone and soft tissue heal.
3.Chronic pain - pain that continues long after the fracture and soft tissues have finished healing.

The first reaction to the pain is just RIP OFF whatever limb or body part that is broken and in that moment you will not miss it, not in the least bit.  JUST GET RID OF THE PAIN NOW.  After you settle into the fact that the pain will not go away, even in the possible situation that you talk the doctor into amputation, there tends to be a bit of frustration.  Life is just not the same as before you had this broken piece of you to lug around attempting to figure out how to do life with something quite not the way it was.  At first you are doing the best you can to just make it through the day but as time goes on it gets a little easier and you find new ways of handling life even amidst the pain.  Eventually the break will heal but there will be occasions where you still feel it -a twinge of pain as a reminder of what happened. An example of this is the barometric pressure, or the weight of the atmosphere that surrounds us, changes and we can "feel it in our bones" - the ache hits especially hard on the ones that have been broken. When that discomfort that seems non-existent or a distant memory flairs up it reminds us of that break and the horrendous pain we once felt.  

All of this is true for a broken heart too.

Last week the weight of the atmosphere around my heart was altered in a BIG way so obviously with the previous text insert the chronic pain.  My family and I flew to Texas to spend a few days with the main purpose of meeting my ex-husbands fiance.  Let me just tell you what the caused ALL of the emotions that hit (besides those after a new baby being a slight bit crazy moments)...  Not only was I meeting the future step-mom to my children, I was also seeing my ex for the first time in nearly three years.  Okay just seeing is fine, I could totally handle that emotionally... but try adding in staying in the same house for three days & insert the many emotions of WHAT AM I DOING?!?! here.  

This song got me through the last few chaotic weeks:



Yes BREATHE... & yoga, journaling, lots of talks with friends, hooping, PRAYERS, and long conversations with my understanding and comforting husband got me through.  Because ... 

"the truth is it hurts because it's real. 
 It hurts because it mattered. 
And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself."
- John Greene

Just because there is pain there does not mean that what was broken did not heal...  it just takes time to learn how to move through the pain and work out what you feel.  I'm going to be honest - yes, I still love my ex-husband - he is the father of my children and was my best friend for eleven years... 


the love is different but it's there and I'm thankful for it. It's also there for his sweet fiance too - I'm thankful to have an amazing woman to help raise my children. God calls us to love and continue to love; 1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. Because of this love we are able to push past the brokenness and lean into a future filled with beautiful memories with our children together like these... ... 











Our First Family Photo                                 


To Dani & Bryan - I am so thankful to have this chance to be not only civil but to be friends and a  family filled with so much love for our children.  I look forward to so many adventures that this life will bring - love you two forever! 

To my Husband - thank you for being so understanding and supportive during everything.  I am beyond blessed to have you by my side for life and words will never begin to describe how much I love you but I'll spend forever trying to show you! 

To everyone else- co-parenting is awesome (awkward moments will happen but those will pass as fast as they come) and if you happen to have a family that has been through divorce please try it.  Love is what this world needs and it begins at home with your family.   Be an example of kindness, mercy, love, forgiveness, and grace to your babes ... after all they are watching you to see how you react to everything.