Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Unbroken

1. Acute pain - occurs immediately after the fracture when the bone has broken.
2. Sub-acute pain - occurs the first few weeks after the fracture while the bone and soft tissue heal.
3.Chronic pain - pain that continues long after the fracture and soft tissues have finished healing.

The first reaction to the pain is just RIP OFF whatever limb or body part that is broken and in that moment you will not miss it, not in the least bit.  JUST GET RID OF THE PAIN NOW.  After you settle into the fact that the pain will not go away, even in the possible situation that you talk the doctor into amputation, there tends to be a bit of frustration.  Life is just not the same as before you had this broken piece of you to lug around attempting to figure out how to do life with something quite not the way it was.  At first you are doing the best you can to just make it through the day but as time goes on it gets a little easier and you find new ways of handling life even amidst the pain.  Eventually the break will heal but there will be occasions where you still feel it -a twinge of pain as a reminder of what happened. An example of this is the barometric pressure, or the weight of the atmosphere that surrounds us, changes and we can "feel it in our bones" - the ache hits especially hard on the ones that have been broken. When that discomfort that seems non-existent or a distant memory flairs up it reminds us of that break and the horrendous pain we once felt.  

All of this is true for a broken heart too.

Last week the weight of the atmosphere around my heart was altered in a BIG way so obviously with the previous text insert the chronic pain.  My family and I flew to Texas to spend a few days with the main purpose of meeting my ex-husbands fiance.  Let me just tell you what the caused ALL of the emotions that hit (besides those after a new baby being a slight bit crazy moments)...  Not only was I meeting the future step-mom to my children, I was also seeing my ex for the first time in nearly three years.  Okay just seeing is fine, I could totally handle that emotionally... but try adding in staying in the same house for three days & insert the many emotions of WHAT AM I DOING?!?! here.  

This song got me through the last few chaotic weeks:



Yes BREATHE... & yoga, journaling, lots of talks with friends, hooping, PRAYERS, and long conversations with my understanding and comforting husband got me through.  Because ... 

"the truth is it hurts because it's real. 
 It hurts because it mattered. 
And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself."
- John Greene

Just because there is pain there does not mean that what was broken did not heal...  it just takes time to learn how to move through the pain and work out what you feel.  I'm going to be honest - yes, I still love my ex-husband - he is the father of my children and was my best friend for eleven years... 


the love is different but it's there and I'm thankful for it. It's also there for his sweet fiance too - I'm thankful to have an amazing woman to help raise my children. God calls us to love and continue to love; 1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. Because of this love we are able to push past the brokenness and lean into a future filled with beautiful memories with our children together like these... ... 











Our First Family Photo                                 


To Dani & Bryan - I am so thankful to have this chance to be not only civil but to be friends and a  family filled with so much love for our children.  I look forward to so many adventures that this life will bring - love you two forever! 

To my Husband - thank you for being so understanding and supportive during everything.  I am beyond blessed to have you by my side for life and words will never begin to describe how much I love you but I'll spend forever trying to show you! 

To everyone else- co-parenting is awesome (awkward moments will happen but those will pass as fast as they come) and if you happen to have a family that has been through divorce please try it.  Love is what this world needs and it begins at home with your family.   Be an example of kindness, mercy, love, forgiveness, and grace to your babes ... after all they are watching you to see how you react to everything.






Tuesday, August 18, 2015

#Winning In Yellowstone: A Peek Behind the Scenes

 Looking back at my last blog post I was telling you all about the trip to Belize for our brand new Brand honeymoon... Then a few weeks later we found out that we brought home a souvenir in pregnancy form (insert all the excitement here!)  Soooo that's why there have been crickets on this end of the internet and usually I would apologize about it BUT I've been learning some serious life lessons lately and if you continue reading you will see that I've been a little busy lately sooo #sorryImnotsorry. Okay - onto the REAL reason I'm writing this evening:



Mmmmmhmmmm...everyone especially parents (say this extra loud for the people with two or more kids) CAN I GET AN AMEN!?!

Let me share my most recent example of this:

This is #FamBamBrand - my sweet little family of five standing in front of Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park this past weekend.  When we posted it on our social media sites there were loving comments like, "Beautiful family", "Rhianna, you look incredible!", & "You seriously have the most beautiful family. I'm so happy for you! And jealous lol!" While we LOVE reading the kind comments and adore all of you that share them with us let me give you the behind the scenes version of this highlight reel & to make it easier to follow we'll do it by each individual family member going from youngest to oldest (this also helps my OCD so we both win on this one reader!)
1.) Ella - aside from being painfully adorable and a mere 19 days new to this world she did REALLY well on our road trip.  Poop, pee, and puke happens... a lot... and this will be relevant at a later point in this blog.  The best news for her is that she doesn't really have to deal with it after she gets rid of it... it's like the ultimate mic drop of life in baby form (insert bodily fluid release here) & I'm out... literally because (insert deepest sleep ever here).  

2.) Kayl - oh my sweet and spunky three year old with the attention span of ... well a three year old.  Favorite quote of our drive in Yellowstone - "One, Two, find a bear." Over and over again it was said with giggles from all of us every time - yet no bears were ever spotted even with the count down prompting them to be found.  He peed his pants before the picture as he was pulling down his pants to pee when we found a place to pull over... FOR HIM TO NOT PEE HIS PANTS. Shortly before this picture was taken we had to stop him from running out to see the smoke (because riding on a geyser is totally possible in movies) and he also ate a chip that was just randomly sitting on the ground by the benches where MILLIONS of people gather to watch the "earth explode" as Kayl says. FYI: I'm chalking the last one up as a win for strengthening his immune system.

3.) Aydn - you cannot tell with the shadow but he is extremely pale from the car sickness that struck him about halfway through Yellowstone probably because the entire ride we were all looking to "one, two, find a bear" and watching out the back window was like - tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree (etc. forever). So I chugged the rest of the water in our water jug and told him to hold it in case of puke, look out the front, and take deep breaths.  About two minutes from parking I thought we were going to get a preview of Old Faithful in puke form out of my seven year old... luckily it was not as faithful.  We spent the hour at the geyser getting his bearings back so that we could drive out of the park without the same deep breath coaching and near puke experience. 

4.) Jesse (yes I am older than him which also makes me wiser right?!?) - Poor guy.  What a trooper he is to deal with three kids and a hormonal wife who is on the verge of crazy most of the time but especially on road trips right after having a baby.  I can see it but most will miss it - this is his "I'm slightly amused but incredibly thankful that we made it this far without strapping someone to the roof of the car smile" (it was discussed many times, mainly aimed at me).  With the usual road trip questions of "are we there yet" and "how much longer" with added on urgent requests to "stop the car now I'm going to (insert bodily fluid here) myself" and bonus "Whipping & Nae Nae" action... it's a wonder we made it this far.  Then there is this thing that I suffer from when I don't know where we are or where we are going that makes me certifiably insane for about a two minute span... dear God please look out if we get lost together ever reader - ask Jesse, nobody is safe.

5.) Me-  We discussed my increased anxiety on this trip so there's that... but there is also this.  In this picture there is a pool of fresh breast milk puke in my cleavage. Yup, just sitting there all warm and curdled milk smelling while I grin away like it's the most incredible moment of my life... because ya know what it kinda is.  Because...


#winning. 

There you have it. The behind the scenes of this highlighted reel in our life... be jealous lol!