This picture above is the very first picture taken of Jesse and me. If I could take you all back to that moment you would understand that I would NEVER have seen what was to come... this extra ordinarily amazing feeling of walking on the softest cotton ball puffs floating in the blue hazed sky, of the sound of his deep and soothing voice that strikes a chord in my heart that is an overture of a symphony filled with all the love, the way his chocolate brown eyes gaze into my soul and break every barrier I have built up when he whispers he loves me, the way he tells my little men how much he cares for them every chance he gets, how my heart feels like it is going to explode out of my chest as it is filled with so much thankfulness and happy ... I could go on for endless hours but the bottom line is
I am in Love.
How did it happen? Well first this...
I gave my heart to God. All of the broken shattered pieces that were left from years of pain and abuse. I told God and truly BELIEVED that HE is more than enough.
It's so true that HE is all that we need, but He also created man and woman for each other Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
In the beginning of this year I talked about how dating was a distraction from my relationship with God - of fulfilling the dreams that God instilled in me and that I have been working so hard at catching. When I met Jesse I had zero intention of the relationship to lead to this crazy feeling of awesome that it has. Both of us were busy with our own lives - me moving to a new place and he was preparing for another deployment. We were both fully content in our relationship with Jesus and intent on strengthening that over anything else. Yet in the busyness of life we each took the time to text once or twice a day - messages that involved prayer needs, general well wishes for the day, and occasionally a random vent session. Okay, let's be honest, there were a few phone calls when I first moved to Texas that he heard an emotional girl on the other end of the phone balling my eyes because I missed everything about Wyoming but especially the constant hugs from loved ones... and he was always there to help me through it - such comforting words and genuine prayers.
.... & then my little brother and amazing new sister-in-law had their wedding in Colorado at the end of September. Here comes Grand Lake with all it's romantic EVERYTHING and before I knew it I was dancing in his arms to Jason Mraz's "I Won't Give Up" and standing next to the gorgeous back drop of fall colored trees adorning the Colorado mountains, a glass smooth lake reflecting a big luminescent moon, and a first sweet and simple kiss that ignited the fireworks in my soul that I feel today.
& then there were many weeks of this...
Then Saturday came - the day my love began his journey to complete his third deployment for the Air Force. Knowing that the constant conversations and sweet texts were coming to an end, that he would be moving farther away from me rather than closer to me... that he could potentially be in danger and that our relationship was truly going to be tested (insert a million other thoughts!) He knew the uncertainty I felt, so he spent the week before he left planning a secret surprise involving conversations with a few of my closest friends (Thank you you two - I love you both so much!) When I picked up the package that evening he told me to Skype him right away. I tore apart the tape (fought with it mostly as tape and I do NOT get along) and inside sat a soft and cuddly stuffed Sea Otter (my favorite animal) holding a star (one of my favorite objects) with a string tied around it. Of course my reaction was "Awwww" at the cuteness that he was providing & then he told me to pull the end of the string. As I tugged at it, I looked up for a moment to see his beaming smile filled with love and adoration for me, & then this fell out on to my lap....
It is not an engagement ring. It's a promise ring. A promise from my boyfriend (squeals like a teenage girl) to love me for as long as that symbol says. This has been the most beautifully innocent relationship that has been centered on God and His will for us from the very start. Who would have thought a need for moving boxes response to a post on Element Churches 432 Experiment and a Facebook friend request could have lead to this?! But here I am - sitting in awe of the love story God wrote for me, so grateful and thankful for all that He has done - & still having a hard time grasping that this is real. (Somebody pinch me please!)
Everyone says some moments are too good to be true. This moment seems too good to be true, but that is how I know it is God. He is soooooo good! (Psalm 37:4, Mark 10:18)